how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
