I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
