The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
