Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
