So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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