we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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