I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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