Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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