I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
