You're my little dorito
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I could have mohawked her pubes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
