Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
