It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
