I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
