Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
