What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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