please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do vagina's smell?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
