White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
