Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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