I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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