I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
