I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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