WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
