yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
