i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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