Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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