There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize