we're chasing vodka with high fives
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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