Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
