It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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