she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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