Farmville is her only friend.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
