ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
