Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
