so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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