he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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