we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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