dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
