I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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