It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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