saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
