Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
