I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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