mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
These tits shall not be calmed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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