i just wanna soil my oats bro
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
