if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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