you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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