I'm passing your future prison.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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