i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
