About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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