Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish i was in the wii world.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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