ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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