Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
