I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
