My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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