O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
