Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
