Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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