Well douche your snatch and let's go!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize