I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
