I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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