Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
